Lager Time: Not Quite Live Edition EP 3

Greetings, bonjour, what’s happening

Earlier this week, I recorded a Not Quite Live Edition of Lager Time. It’s essentially me running through a set poems, stories and some music on the loop-station. Had a few live gigs coming up, so this was good preperation for me

FULL SET LIST

1 - Trap It

2- Times of Respect

3- Whoever Said It Was Easy

4- Fair & Square

5- Chair Wars

6- Not quite A Cheetah

7- Premium Speed Ghost Train

8- Slow and Steady

9 - No Milk For The Foxes

10 - Now, What Do You Want To Say?

11 - Watts & Pommerlers

Barz In The Car: EP 14 - feat Paul Cree & Conrad Murray (Hosted by X-It)

Easy

Insert sorry I haven’t posted in a while blah blah blah message, there’s probably lots of reasons.

Alas, here is something I did recently that I really enjoyed. Myself and Conrad Murray, were working on a project up in Bedford, called Future Music Makers, teaching beatboxing. We got to work with some local artists, and one of them is the rapper X-It, who does a number of things in the area, putting on for local rappers. One of them is his Barz In The Car format, so me and Con jumped in, had chat, dropped some beats and I spat some bars.

Had a great time up there, and in the car. I love spitting and aside from my kitchen, I don’t get to do it very often, so large up X-It, watched the video and go check his stuff

Peas and ‘taters

Barz In The Car ep 14 - Paul Cree & Conrad Murray (Beats & Elements) - hosed by X-It

New freestyle video - Toy Cars 64

Easy

So I’ve put together a little freestyle promo video, for the upcoming Toast In The Machine EP, Toy Cars 64. It’s a 64 bar-stream of consciousness-type-verse. I like to write these from time to time.

I’m at a point now (and it’s taken a long time to get here!) where I can produce and record my own music, and then a do a bit of simple filming. It’s all quite basic, but if I was able to channel all the frustration I’ve felt, over the years, where I’ve had tons of ideas and lyrics, but not been able to do anything with, I’d probably see us through this current energy crises.

Anyway, I can do it now, so no more excuses and I can only get better with it. If you like it, do me a favour and follow me on the below links, if you use those platforms, it all helps

SPOTIFY FOLLOW - https://open.spotify.com/artist/77Io4...

APPLE FOLLOW - https://music.apple.com/us/artist/pau...

AMAZON MUSIC - https://www.amazon.co.uk/music/player...

BANDCAMP - https://paulcree.bandcamp.com/

read all about the EP here https://paulcree.co.uk/blog

Toast in the Machine SAMPLER

Easy

Happy Sunday. No normal Lager Time at the minute, should be back next week, I’ve got a story that I’m currently writing. Life’s been a bit mad of late; lots of work, home stuff, health etc, getting the time to do it has been difficult, and there’s things I need to get finished, like this here music project.

So I’ve been working on this EP on and off, for almost two years, it’s been a bit of labour of love, as well as a deliberate learning curve and a pain in the arse.

It’s been sat on my hard-drive ‘almost’ finished for a while now. I’ve probably pushed it as far as my limited production skills allow, meaning I’ve attempted to mix and master it myself. I don’t have the money at the moment, to get it mixed and mastered professionally and also I wanted to treat the whole thing as a learning exercise. In the past, I would’ve just left it to someone else, and often there wasn’t someone else, which is way I don’t have much music out there.

Though it’s not perfect, it certainly is an improvement on my last self-produced EP Raw 64’s of Boredom.

Anyway, this is just a little sampler. I’ll be putting it up for distribution shortly, so it’ll be on Spotify, Apple and all that. If you use either of those services, it would help me a lot if you could follow me on any of the links below, depending on which one you use. That way, I think you get alerted when the EP goes live, something like that, anyway. They’ll be a link here and in the podcast description.

SPOTIFY FOLLOW - https://open.spotify.com/artist/77Io4kiSZs1Zhs4UFDmnCr

APPLE FOLLOW - https://music.apple.com/us/artist/paul-cree/410019369

AMAZON MUSIC - https://www.amazon.co.uk/music/player/artists/B008XF7EPS/paul-cree

BANDCAMP -   https://paulcree.bandcamp.com/

 I’ve now got to figure out how to make some of those little promo videos, all part of the fun I guess, though I’m yet to see the fun part in it.

Anyway, Lager Time should be back with another Satellite Story next week hopefully, got a few more in the bag, don’t know what I’m going to do after that but I’m sure I’ll figure it out.

Paul

Substack Post: On the Death of Skibadee: Part 2

This post was originally published on my Substack Blog: Lager Time. If you subsribe, you can have it as an audio podcast, or as a weekly email

I mentioned in the first part of this, that it’s probably going to be a bit all over the place. It is. And I’m probably going to contradict myself.     I’m trying to work out where I stand on the sincerity of social-media posting, particularly in times of tragedy.

I’ve always had this stubborn side of me, that wants to quietly rebel against consensus. I’m not quite sure why but I find it pretty annoying; as in, why can’t I just accept things like most other people. I suspect it has a lot to do with my own ego, which, despite calm / gormless appearances, can be a raging-mess, like a quaint, inconspicuous (and fully soundproofed) village-hall; housing a packed, drug-fuelled gabba-rave.  But that’s not the only thing.

My first memory of it rearing its head was in primary school, watching some slapstick-theatre show, prancing about the school assembly hall. All the kids were cracking-up; except for me. I can remember this conflicted feeling I had – this sort of frustration, that I wanted all the other kids to understand that this is shit, it isn’t funny ­- versus the feeling (though I could be making this bit up but I’m pretty sure it was the case) of actually wanting to laugh, because perhaps; it was funny, in places.

The classic one these days, is if someone recommends me something to watch, or listen to, that’s current, or popular, or both. My normal reaction is something along the lines of that’s probably going to be shit. See, I can be a prick. However, in some cases, that inner-prick, is often right; subject to my own preference and opinion, of course. Kendrick Lamar is a decent spitter, but he ‘aint top ten, no-where near it, mate. And Line of Duty, was no better than a soap-opera. It was alright, but nothing special. Sometimes I wish I could accept the consensus though. Life would probably be a bit happier.  

Sometimes it’s not all ego-driven, or just something being over-rated. Sometimes, it’s a hunch or a suspicion, that something else is going on. The bull-shit detector. If it’s mass-consensus, sometimes it could be tribalism that’s driving it, or self-preservation perhaps, which gets masked as earnest, which then makes it insincere, thus bull-shit; especially in the realm of politics. Sincerity is important to me.

There’s numerous cultural and political examples I could give here. A major tragedy happens, a mass-shooting, a war, some big social-justice-type moment and immediately social-media timeliness are awash with more platitudes than a political speech-writing-workshop. But why?

My own reaction to this sort of stuff could well speak to that inner-prick, he exists, most certainly. Also my own social-inadequacies. If I wasn’t so awkward, perhaps ‘d be jumping on board the big save-the-world-sloganeering. 

Sometimes it’s an insecurity thing; they’re probably related. I mugged off grime when it first came about. I think deep-down, I thought it had stolen drum and bass’s thunder. How stupid is that? Like I own drum and bass, or something?! It’s all music. I love music. I’m glad I saw through my own bullshit there. I love grime. Equally, I used to cuss-off 90’s R&B music, saying it was cheesy. But in truth, I did like some of it, I think my issue was that I associated it with men that were confident with the ladies; which of course, I wasn’t.

What’s triggered this post, is the recent death of UK MC Skibadee. Unfortunately, with easy access to instant news, it seems not a week goes by without some legend passing away, and it’s always sad, especially when that person means something to so many. Skibba meant a lot to me (and many, many others of course) but it was the first time I felt moved to write something and post it online and even then I was conflicted. Only time will tell if I’d detected the smell of my own bullshit again, whilst writing it.

The only time I’ve ever chipped in previously was when Leslie Neilson died, and that was only a short tweet. But this one’s bought the conflict up in me again. This conforming thing. I’ve seen a lot of it of late, but for some reason, it doesn’t sit right with me and I don’t know if it’s just that egotistical-dick-head-insecure-not-in-the-cool-club-side-of-me, or the side that’s sometimes, is right to be suspicious[U1] ?

I fully understand that there were many people that knew him, or grew up listening to him, or knew how much of an inspiration he’s been. But some of the things I was seeing, from accounts that I’ve never seen post anything about him, or drum and bass even, felt insincere. Call me a prick here but it seems that if his passing somehow fitted into the sphere, however tenuously, of those accounts own ‘online brand’, then they would comment. Like an industrial trawler, sweeping up everything off the ocean floor, so long as it looked like a fish; it all has a value.  I’m not going to include any examples here, as I’m well-aware I could be completely wrong. I’d rather keep focus on the general sincerity online, or lack of, whenever any big tragedy happens and the cultural-capital that can come with commenting.

I know only too well, what a few of those heart-like-clicks can do to my brain, I can feel it fiending for them, like my dog when I whip the treats out, whenever I post something and then check in, at numerous intervals, to see if anyone has liked it. I’ll be checking the stats on this post, no doubt. That dopamine hit from a click validation – it’s addictive.  And what better way to get those hits, than writing something, in emotional times, that appeals to people’s sense of loss and occasion? Get it right and you’re a wide-boy with the keys to a charlie-factory.

As I write my way through this, I realise it’s probably a mixture of both.  Sincere and insincere. Maybe it’s ok, to reach out for validation, in times of high emotion. The day before I got married, when the pressure was on, I felt the sudden need to reach-out to my parents. I had a little cry and I hugged my mum and I think that was what I needed in that moment. It wasn’t online of course but I would never share anything like that online, that’s just not me but I think the motive may be have similar. For some, maybe that’s what it is, a little reach-out for a virtual-hug, as well as wanting to honour the dearly departed. No shame there.

But is that the case every time? I don’t think so. There’s some people, out there knee-deep in clicked-sourced-dopamine and looking for that next hit. But you tell me. These things are very difficult to prove and of course call-out, due to the sensitive nature of the subjects. I guess it's down to perception at the end of the day, that and smokey mirrors.

We’re all still figuring out the dos and don’ts of this social media thing. What I do know is, most cultures have specific ways to honour their dead, they’re time-honoured traditions and every part of it, is designed to serve a higher purpose, way beyond gassing-up someone delivering a half-arsed eulogy. Large up the real ones and RIP Skibadee.    

Substack post: On the Death of Skibadee: Part 1 →

This was originally featured on my Lager Time Substack blog, where you can both read it and have it as audio. You cal also subsribe and have it as an email, or in your podcast feed, or both

I’m not sure exactly where I was when I heard Skibadee Mcing, for the first time but I’m quite sure it was on the school bus, sat next to my mate, Graham, who lent me a copy, which I copied, of a DJ Brockie set; from a One Nation tape-pack. What I do know is, that it was on that tape, that I first heard Skibba and it stayed in my Walkman, for a very long time. I still have it somewhere and can still recite many of the MC’s lyrics on it. We all have a that tape – I’ve got two, this is the other one.

The year was 1998, I would’ve been about 14. The tape itself, was definitely from 98. That was the year that another legendary UK MC passed away, Stevie Hyper D. His name, along with ‘R I P’ was chanted a lot throughout that tape and a lot of the other DJ sets that were in that same tape-pack. It was pertinent, because from my point of view, and a lot of others, Skibadee went on take Stevie Hyper D’s crown, as the King of Drum and Bass MC’s and all-round UK MC legend.

For those that don’t know what, or who I’m talking about, that’s ok, I’ll try and explain but I’m not quite sure where to start. Perhaps yesterday (Sunday, 28.2.22) I saw online, whilst sat watching that new Kanye West documentary on Netflix, that Skibadee had passed away. I felt that pang in my chest and belly, took in a short breath and paused the telly. This, a week after another UK music stalwart (albeit, from a younger generation) Jamal Edwards, had also passed away.

This morning, I felt compelled to put some thoughts down, not quite sure why but I hope I’ll figure that out as this goes on. It will probably be a bit all over the place, as I’m going to try and link it to something else that I’ve been thinking about, which is something along the lines of; posting-things-on-social-media-as-a-form-of-expression- and-when-is-it-genuine? But I’ll deal with that, in a second post, I’ve got too much to say about Skibba and it’s probably more interesting.

But back to Skibba and that DJ Brockie tape. If you grew up in the 90’s, were from the UK, London or the surrounding counties and were tuned in to underground dance-music, chances are, you’d know about jungle / drum ‘n bass. Maybe you went to the raves, maybe like me, you had a mate and an older brother, who played you a tape, or a record, maybe you heard it blasting out of a souped-up Ford Escort XR3i, or maybe you were playing with the radio dial one day and you picked up one of the numerous pirate-stations that were broadcasting off London rooftops. And if you were nerdy, like I was and still am, you’d get obsessed and chances are you’d know that line of lineage, from Jungle to Drum and Bass - to UK Garage, to Grime, to Dubstep, to UK Rap to Drill, and the roots of that line from rave / hardcore, breakbeat, acid-house, techno, hip hop, bashment /dancehall /ragga / roots-reggae and dub. And you’d be proud of it. Too me, being a nerd is just an extension of passion, after all.

I loved Drum and Bass. I still do. I’ve talked about it a lot in my writing. I played the actual drums as a kid, so I love beats, big beats. When I first heard sped-up, chopped up, amen-breaks, I lost my shit. I soon learned that there was this whole scene, that came from London, just up the road from me, in Surrey and in it existed producers, DJ’s, promoters, pirate-radio stations, raves, flyers, tape-packs from said raves, record shops, record bags and clothes and of course, MC’s. It was sick. And it was from London.

But back to that tape, again, finally. When first hearing it, I didn’t yet know how it all worked. The raves, the pirate-stations and the setups, how the music was communicated, with the DJ’s and the MC’s and how they worked together. I had little or no exposure to that world. I knew hip hop and knew about house and techno, through my older siblings, amongst other sounds. But Hip hop was on TV, house and techno were on BBC Radio 1.  I remember trying to exclaim to my brother, Will, that I’d heard this tape with all of these London MC’s on the records, that the DJ was playing. He had to explain to me, that the MC’s were live, on the mikes, at the event, hyping up the crowd and spitting their lyrics over the beats the DJ was playing. That was how it worked. Despite its similar DJ/MC lineage, 90’s hip hop and its era of wildly successful recording artists, making actual tracks in studios, were hardwired into me at this stage. I had no idea, I thought all those voices that I was hearing on the tape, were recorded on the records. I even thought Skibbas name was ‘Skipper-d’ for a good while.

The whole thing was exciting to me, for a number of reasons. A lot of the MC’s were rapping in the double-time style. Super-fast lyrics, that sounded like machine-guns. I love breakbeats and what there were doing, was making their voices into rhythmic instruments, like watching a drum solo from Buddy Rich, not just sitting in the background providing a beat. I often had no idea what they were saying but it sounded sick. Sometimes they were freestyling, I couldn’t believe that either, just making it up on the spot, like it was magic, they all seemed so talented. But they were doing it, over Drum and Bass beats, which I loved and they had London accents, often intermixed with Jamaican ragga styles. But that sounded far less alien, to this pasty kid from Surrey, than an American accent on a hip hop beat did; as much as I loved hip hop, of course, it was American.

Typically, on a DJ set from one of the big raves, like One Nation, if it was Drum and Bass, you’d have two or three MC’s, sometimes more, sometimes less. The raves would then produce the sought-after tape-packs that you could buy, with all the DJ sets recorded onto cassettes and they’d have these mad futuristic designs on the covers. That first tape from the One Nation 98 pack that I heard, if memory recalls correctly, had 5ivo, Shabba, Fearless, Moose and Skibbadee all MCing on it. Skibba wasn’t on it much but when I heard him, he really stood out. I assumed then, that he was like a young up-and-comer, so only got a little spot. Again, highlighting my lack of understanding about how those big rave events worked, he was all over the other tapes that I later heard, just not the Brockie one. I wanted to hear more of him, though. That little segment was enough to get me hooked. He came on, mid-set, with that lyric that included the words ‘when am I gonna get my dividend’ which is also where I first heard and later learned the meaning of that word; financial education from Skibadee – what was school for?

His staccato, double-time flow, sounded so cool to me. No one did it like him but we all tried. Go on, say that above sentence to yourself, rapidly, without pausing for breath and you’ll go someway to understanding why he was so effective as an all round MC .

‘when am I gonna get my dividend, I get my piece of the action’

His vocal tone, flow and energy, just sounded perfect. I’d rewind that bit, over and over, loving it when he cut in and rode the beat, like a horse to war, full of slickness and confidence. It was his bars and a few of Stevie Hyper D’s (someone else I’ve also written about) that I first tried to copy, when I decided I was going to be an MC.

Since I’ve been into it, Drum and Bass’s popularity has often fluctuated. At the time I first heard that tape, it wasn’t that popular anymore, it didn’t seem it anyway. Wide-boys at my school were listening to speed garage – maybe their elder siblings liked Jungle back in the early 90’s but it was seen as either too fast and aggressive, or just a bit mental. The music was definitely quite-dark, back then, when I first latched on to it.

Me and my brother Will, would go into the newsagents and scan through the big dance music magazines of the time, like DJ and Mixmag and see if there were any Drum and Bass features, it was slim pickings, they barley got a mention. I remember getting upset one day when Loaded magazine casually said it was ‘dead.’ How arrogant have you gotta be to say that? Regardless though, that music soldiered-on, along with its infrastructure of raves like One Nation, Helter Skelter and Droppin Science.

With the commercial success of UK Garage, came the rise of MC-led garage and the So Solid Crew era. Suddenly, UK MC’s were at the forefront, as rappers, on tracks and in videos, not just crowd hypers at the raves anymore. UK hip hop has always been around, as far as I can remember but it was very niche. At this point, Drum and Bass seemed to get more popular again, this time, with a lot more focus on the MC’s, so naturally, Skibba rose to the top. He even featured on a chart-topping Shy FX track that got playlisted on BBC Radio 1. I remember getting pissed-off when Chris Moyles played the record on his drivetime show and was doing bad impressions of Skibba. I felt like he had no idea who Skibadee was and had just disrespected an underground legend, who’d found commercial success.

This era also spawned a whole load of rudeboys, to want to pick up a mike and start MCing – when I first was in my early teens, everyone wanted to DJ, Mc’s were thin on the ground where I grew up. That all changed. Skibba was the one they always seemed to gravitate towards, trying to imitate his rapid double-time style. When am I gonna get my dividend. Everyone loved Skibba. But there’s only one Skibadee and a DJ set, with 7 rudeboys doing bad impressions of him, could easily be MC-overkill and ruin a DJ set and often a whole event; which it did, many times. Thus, the tables had turned somewhat, in the eternal conflict between DJ’s and MC’s but it turned off a lot of people, myself included.

I was heavily into Drum and Bass, for a long time but as I got into my early twenties, I gradually started to drift away from it. I’d been Mcing for a few years and had a few gigs under my belt but had gradually transitioned to focusing more on writing lyrics and trying to make tracks but not drum and bass tracks - hip hop, grime and whatever else; drum and bass was still very a much a club-based scene and I didn’t think I had what it took, to be the hyper-energetic rave MC. That and I got fed-up with moter-mouthed rudeboys trying to hustle the mike off me all the time.

I can’t pretend I’ve been this unwavering, hardcore Drum and Bass head. I haven’t. I still went to the occasional event but chances are it would be something like Rupture – which focused a lot more on the breakbeats and didn’t seem to attract the crowd that wanted the MC’s, spitting constantly over Jump Up beats. In some of those circles, it was almost frowned upon to like those MC’s, or the beats they typically rapped over. Even in an underground sub-genre, with sub-sub-genres, there was still elements of classism and cultural superiority. I certainty had traits of this but if I’m honest, I still loved a bit of Skibba and Shabba on a jump-up set. Every now and again, I’d blast an old tape with MC’s like Skibba spraying all over it. And with the advent of You Tube and the wider application of the internet in general, people were uploading all sorts of old DJ sets from raves and radio and records – so I’d go down these rabbit-holes and enjoy the lyrical-barrages of an MC Convention set, in the safety of my headphones and a few premium-strength lagers.

I work a lot with young people and I often ask them what music they listen too. Many will cite British-born rappers, in fact, these days they’re more likely to listen to British rap music, than they are American. It’s a huge turnaround from where it was, when I first got interested in all of this. I remember people smirking when I told them I liked UK hip hop. Those drum and bass MC’s, along with the UK Garage MC’s and of course the likes of So Solid Crew, Heartless Crew, Pay As You Go (as well as the UK Hip Hop guys Like London Posse, Blak Twang, Roots Manuva, Jehst and Skinnyman) made it a lot more acceptable for your average British kid, to listen to UK MC’s.

The wider acceptance of British underground dance and rap music, was helped massively with the advent of BBC 1Xtra and Channel U. Both national platforms, with a much bigger reach than anything before, where a wider audience could be cultivated and it was. These platforms allowed rappers to have legitimate careers and it sent Grime into the mainstream. I was always chuffed, when those stations showcased the Drum and Bass guys that came before; Skibba was often on 1xtra doing freestyles. And you’d often hear the first wave of successful Grime MC’s, who were getting major record deals, paying homage to Skibba, Shabba, Dett, Stevie Hyper et all, preserving the lineage.

Years later, with social media, I’d be able to occasionally check in with these guys. I followed SASASAS all those MC’s and DJ’s from my past and have regularly watched short video clips of all those guys, shutting down raves and festivals the world over, still going after all these years and as someone that still likes to rap and MC, fast approaching 40, it’s inspiring to me that they’re all still doing it, into their 40’s and 50’s even, and still headlining events. It was only on Saturday, that I looked at a picture of Shabba, Harry Shotta, DJ Phantasy and Skibadee, with the caption asking their fans what festivals they wanted to see them at this year.

With the current crop of Drill rappers, making their way in the music world, I don’t know if they know, from whence they came, in terms of the rap industry in the UK. It’s neither here nor there if they do, they’re doing their own thing and I respect it, as any new generation should -  however, if they care to look – they’ll see Skibadee up there, as one of the great UK MC’s, who helped blaze a path for this whole British rapping thing to happen, and me, and countless others who grew up on the tape packs, pirate-radio and car-stereos and raves, will forever be indebted to his legacy.

I hope he’s up there, in his final resting place, going back-to-back with Stevie Hyper D, keeping the eternal rave-souls lively in the dance. Skibba dealt with the matter and dealt with it proper.

Being shit at something is no longer an excuse

WINDOW DRESSING

Yesterday, Friday 5th February, 2021, was a busy day at Cree HQ. I released a self-produced new single with a B-side, with artwork that I made myself and stuck the thing up on Bandcamp. I released the first video in a little series I’m doing which includes material from the new show. I lit, filmed, edited, and uploaded it myself. Sounds, alright, yea?

REALITY

The songs aren’t mixed very well (you can hear my breathing too much on the first track.) Apart from putting links up on my social media platforms, I’ve done zero PR for it (I don’t really know where to start with that.) The artwork, I made myself on GIMP- it’s very, very simple. There’s a fault line that I don’t know how to get rid of on the main image. With the video, I’ve got way too much light on my face and the sound isn’t great, nor is the delivery in the performance. Basically, it’s all pretty shoddy. Whilst there are certainly a few improvements that I know I can make, it largely shows the extent of my limited skillset, when it comes to putting out my own content.

Exhibit A: My wife said ‘I don’t get it?’ - well, good art gets people talking.

Now, apart from writing the words used in both the music and video, I probably wouldn’t have bothered doing any of the above, not so long ago, due to knowing that I’m not very good at doing those things; also known as, being shit.

There’s been many examples, over the extent of my 37.6 years on this planet, where I’ve given up far too easily. The reasons for this vary but the one that most frequently caused me to stop doing whatever was it was I was trying to do, was being shit at whatever that thing was. It’s shit being shit. I’m sure we all know that.

SIDENOTE

I need to stress here (out of insecurity? Ego? Pride? I don’t know?) that it’s not the case for everything. The fact that I’m sitting here, writing this blog post, follows a trajectory (which I’ve talked about, a lot) from MCing and rapping, in my late teens, to all this other writing stuff now. I was shit at MCing, for a long time and have the tapes to prove it (confidence also plays part in this but I’m not using that as a full excuse, I was shit, mate) but I stuck with it and low and behold, here I am - with a website and a few shows and other cool things under my belt. Well done me for not giving up.

SHIT EXAMPLES

I’ve been shit at a lot of things. I essentially wrote a show about being shit at school (amongst other things), which turned into this new show (which I’m currently writing) which is about (amongst other things) being shit at the jobs I was doing.

Some of the things I wasn’t able to give up, like school for instance, to the extent that I had to be there, by law but most of my efforts, in the last few years of it were reduced to doing the absolute bare minimum, which is probably worse than giving up. With most of the jobs, I needed to earn a living and didn’t want to be sacked, so I still turned up but again, minimal effort in a lot of cases (though, not all.)

There were somethings, I at least for a period, tried hard with, like Maths and French but just couldn’t my head around them, so I gave up. Cleaning was another, I was normally knackered after a shift, hoovering, scrubbing and wiping but I was still shit at it.

However, so many other things, from that Basketball team I trained with for a brief period, to applying for numerous jobs and opportunities, where I just think, I’m shit at this, so what’s the point in continuing? and resign myself to misery and give up.

This attitude has definitely flowed into my work as a creative person. First and foremost, I see myself as a lyrics man, I deal with words and I perform those words. However, there’s many things I’ve attempted, within the world of being an artist, like funding applications and making your own artwork, producing my own music, that I’ve been shit at and just given up, or not even bothered to attempt it, once I’d established I was shit at it.

So where’s that got me? Not that far, that’s for sure. Most of the things that I have done, which went well, which required skills like: funding, artwork, producing, mixing, engineering, filming, editing - were done by people who knew what they were doing, making me a very fortunate young man; because they probably wouldn’t have happened if it was just me in charge  

Of the things that I’m proud of, most of them involved me getting off my arse and making something happen, whilst transcending or ignoring that negative-mindset, that whatever it was, it was going to be shit.

POSITIVE SHIT

I wrote a blog a while back, about the Just A Name mixtape, that I made in 2007. That project came out of a frustration, that I wasn’t able to record and put out my own music, all I had was an ever increasing pile of lyrics, with no music to rap them over. So with the help of my brother Will and my mate, Mit, I learnt just enough on Logic, saved up a bit of dough, bought some basic kit and done the damn thing myself (apart from the mixdown, hold tight Keeper.) Even going to open mics to read my poems, I’d say I was shit at that but I kept it up and got reasonably competent at it.

Whilst I’m pleased with the things that I have achieved, there’s been a whole load of stuff that I haven’t, far too much, in fact, because I made an excuse for myself and gave up. It’s bollox.

Circa 2007, some early Cree. A perm marker was used and then scanned, by a printer/scanner that did’nt realy print or scan.

YOU CAN DO IT, ALL YOU NEED IS…

I’m not trying to sound like one of those self-help guru’s here but that attitude has held me back and I feel stupid for doing so. I think it also masks, on my part, a laziness, risk aversion and a fear of what other people will think. The times where I haven’t been lazy or risk-averse, have led to good things, mostly. So more of that, yea.

In an ideal word, I’d have proper people doing the artwork, the PR, the filming, the funding and I’d just concentrate on my bit, writing and performing but I don’t, none of that is financially viable right now. What I do have, is some good people willing to help me, access to WIFI, a bit of equipment and an account with Udemy and You Tube, so I’m able to at least get some of these little projects finished, to whatever standard and get them out there. The best bit is, I’m slowly improving at the things I mentioned at the start (I can now do a lot more than this time last year) and I get those little dopamine hits, whenever I learn how to do something new, which is a good feeling, even if what I’ve just done is a bit shit; like the artwork on my new track.

So long as I accept the starting point of being shit, at writing funding applications, mixing music, filming, editing, making artwork but acknowledge that I’ll probably improve, if I keep doing it, then I’m onto a winner, mate.

So what I think all this means is, that the real shit thing here in all of this, is doing nothing at all and giving up. It’s shit, being shit but even shitter if you don’t do shit, when you want to get shit done. ‘Eff that, I’ve already wasted to much time, I’ve got work to do.

Peas and taters

Paul

New song; Whichever Way It's Blowing

Yes

Firstly, happy new year and that. Bit belated, in my case but I’m sure many people get inundated with arty types, like me, pushing their arty new-year emails and messages on people. I don’t mind them, to be fair and if I was more organised I probably would’ve done one myself, but you know, life and that.

So I’ve made a new tune. Long story short, wrote the bars a few months back, made the basic loop in IMaschine again and now, after a very long time, I have access to all my studio gear, as my wife has had a summer house installed in the garden and I’m now using it to do this stuff. Aren’t, I lucky? Yes, I am. Since I was a kid, I’ve wanted my own little creative space, it’s sick and I’m trying to make the most of it.

and speaking of making, I made this, have a listen. I’ve had a request for the lyrics (from my dad) so I’ve posted them below, in case anyone is interested

VERSE 1

Sat through that first lockdown, trying to keep my career going

making fire rubbing stones, no lighter fuel just me blowing

patience, frustration, boiling outside and beef with the neighbours

everyday yet another grief and another project cancellation

making P was hard enough now poison waters in the stream

gutting out my industry, gold-rush towards live-stream

Zoom gigs with latency, wi-fi’s unreliable.

while everyone’s banging out Netflix, my focus on survival

kept a routine with discipline, got fit, learned new things

but my head was floating like a balloon, towards a wall of drawing pins

mad moments of doubt kicking in, had to kick it out and keep kicking on

outside it was kicking off, pent-up people out of jobs

anaphylaxis in a hive full of bees, gave up on nightly news briefs

untold conspiracy theories, unsure now what to believe

meanwhile I’m trying to get P, pay my bills and keep it all going

but I’m pissing in the wind, whichever way it’s blowing

CHROUS

Bored, round the house I’m in doors

another week a new law

a broken record in thought

how long we doing this for?

I’m going mental

go and boil the kettle

sit down settle, could be worse

so what you whinging for?

VERSE 2

A mate of my dad’s once told me, that where there’s war there’s money

there aint a war but in the Amazon there’s a working-poor and they’re on zero hours

packing parcels, driving vans, competition now barley stands

high-street now a no-go, betting shops and pay-day loans

Saturdays, school holidays, bop to town back then with your mates

good times but what do kids do now, when they can’t even leave their house?

encouraged to grass on the neighbours, old-bill in the local fields

felt like a dystopian film but this one was real

I’m looking out the window, wondering what way the world goes

mug of tea in my hand, phone mum and dad and hold my wife close

could be worse I guess, roof on my head, wardrobe full of clothes

say a little prayer and look to the air, could do with a little dosage of hope

text Conrad, he said we got to keep going

he’s right, by hook or by crook I’m sat in this room with a book and it’s open

minute by minute, day by day, week by week, we set little tasks

and in ten years time, we get through this, I’ll sit with my wife and I’ll raise a glass

CHROUS

Bored, round the house I’m in doors

another week a new law

a broken record in thought

how long we doing this for?

I’m going mental

sgo and boil the kettle

sit down settle, could be worse

so what you whinging for?

High Rise eState of Mind, live-stream, LIVE FROM HOME, Manchester

Yo

High Rise eState of mind is back! And it almost wasn’t!

We’ve had this show lined-up for ages, to make the journey up to Manchester, to the amazing HOME. I’m yet to ever perform in Manny, let alone at one of the best venues in the whole city. HOME is massive for us and whey they announced another flipping lockdown, we were gutted. HOWEVER, Home have pulled out all the stops and they are going to live-stream it, so yous’ can watch it from anywhere!

THIS WEDNESDAY AND THIRSDAY, GET YOUR TICKETS HERE it’s only gonne be online for two nights.

Alright, it’s not the same as having an audience in front of you, but for us, we’ll still be on their massive stage, doing a show, that we’re very proud of.

So this week we’ve been back in rehearsals at Camden People’s Theatre (large up them!) getting ready, I’d forgotten how much there is to do in the show, so it’ll be a challenge but I was chuffed to be back in the room, with the team again, Conrad Murray, Lakeisha Lynch-Stevens and David Bonik Junior aka Gambit Ace

LOCK IN

18th and 19th Nov

@HOME Manchester

Bar Crawl Freestyles

Bonjour

After getting a fiarly decent repsonse on Instagram, for all the stuff I did online with RAW 64’s of BOREDOM, I’ve been going back through the pad and dropping a few freestyles on Instragram, over some of my favorite instrumentals, then sticking them up on You Tube.

Here’s the first three

WORDS FLOW FESTIVAL PERFORMANCE →

So, I did a gig, live, last night, as part of WORDS FLOW FESTIVAL @ Upper Norwood Library. An actual gig, mate. Finally, after all this COVID-caper, knocked the game flat-out, a live gig!

It was a lot of fun to step-up and do it again and it was also live-streamed, so you can watch it below. The setup was sick, the library really went all-out to get the whole show looking and sounding good.

My performance was a bit wonky in places, it’s all new material (and equipment) I’m slowly building a whole new set, with music so bought out the new loop-station and cracked on with it, like old, pre-COVID times but with new words and gear.

Have a butchers and donate to the library, if you can, they’re doing great things in that corner of South London.

But yes, it was great to perform again, more gigs, please, performing is what I do.

Speaking of which, catch me and Conrad Murray this Friday, as Beats & Elements take over the Camden People’s Theatre Instagram account, with a show called EYEBALLZ, DREAMS AND STREAMZ - a whole show of poets, singers, rappers and beatboxers, it’s gonna be large, mate

RAW 64'S of BOREDOM #3 All Aboard →

WOLLOP. Track number three is up. I’m a bit late with the blog update but you know, I don’t think anyone is gonna be loosing any sleep over it.

This track happened pretty quick, I made the beat a few weeks back and the first 32 bars, is a verse I’d written a few years back, which I had kicking around in the lyric book. Wrote the next 32 shortly after, ran with the train theme. It was the quickest to record as well, I;ve got a bit of a process now. Reckon I’m gonna do two more, package it up and stick ‘em up on Bandcamp. Large up everyone who has listened and shared so far

FULL LYRICS BELOW

RAW 64’s of BOREDOM #3 - All Aboard

-Beat made on my phone, using iMaschine 2

-Vocal recorded in Cubase -No monitors, just headphones with one, half-working ear

-Recorded late at night, making minimal noise

-Image taken by Janice D'Costa

-Written, produced and recorded in isolation by Paul Cree -why not?

LYRICS

I used to bored trains, bored and try and jump ‘em

ride it from Horley, to Clapham Junction

small town Surrey, to South London

I guess on a bit of a quest in search of something

left a trail to find my way back home

stick on stones on the railroads

couldn’t drive, couldn’t afford the lesson time

and the kids with whips didn’t really wonna leave their drives

took trips down to Brighton the seaside

record shopping and picking up the rave flyers

saw weird shit, like white guys in doo-rags

thinking back-home they’d probably get laughed at

in fact, probably slapped these towns were like that

they weren’t the worst but geezers up in shirts on the

lash to pull birds, were likely to get violent if they failed in their

search, or worse

a lot of fighting back home in the pubs and bars

us smart ones played the fish in a pond card

then went up London to go dancing in the raves

like fish out of water but a pond to a lake

in these cities I found a new breed of prick

sort of smart-arsed kid, went to uni bunned a spliff

considered themsevls enlightened ‘cos they listened to Jehst

then slag off my hometown and say it was full of inbreds

I’d think shutup mate, then shake my head

knowing one day they’d probably be my boss

sat around a table, putting ticks in a box

the power to say no, or take what I’ve got

early shifts north terminal, working in a shop

coming straight from the End, eyes all blood shot

Gatwick strip lights like droughts to a frog

fall asleep on the train back, missed my stop

back on the train and id get myself lost

looking out the window till my eyes would go boss

Croydon was the final frontier of the city through the boundaries

then back into  leafy Surrey county

many times I avoided getting robbed

playing cat and mouse with gangs by getting on and getting off

sometimes guards locked doors between carriages

them slam-door trains carried some colourful characters

never saw transport police, only at matches

Saturday Millwall trips became standard

knew a couple of kids at my school who supported ‘em

95 first game, hooked, Kerry Dixon scored

grew older, beer became a part

post match piss-ups, pissed as a fart

on a train home, shared a can with a west ham fan

got off at his stop and threatened to slit my throat

there were times when I behaved like a prick

pissed up bunnin’ spliffs and vandalising shit

felt sorry for the cleaner, cleaning up my sick

when I’d consumed special brew and it erupted out my lips

performed acrobatics just to make last trains, there were

times when I didn’t and I’d be stranded till the next day

trying to kip with the waifs and the strays

invalidate my ticket so twice I’d have to pay

read books, wrote bars, poems and stories

end of the nineties right into the noughties

hiding in my seat, window-side preferably

wrote so much between, London and Horley

travel card, pen and a pad that was my weaponry

building up my armoury to advance on my arteries

trying to pump a lifeforce, into my heartbeats

and beat the boredom by beating some bars out of me