Nylon to Experian

I lack gears

credit card in arrears

withdrawing cash to pay rent like a

feedback loop in my ears

spanked money on beers

sun holidays with peers

booze, burgers, no birds and

sunburnt to the point of tears

siblings set the standard and I couldn’t hit the marker

instead tagged walls in permanent marker

thinking I was some kind of martyr

que-laughter

Got lapped on the school running track by top-set high-flyers

sort of kids that listened in class and didn’t use

Lynx cans to light fires, or swap jazz mags in the

C-Block piss-pots, or bunk off in Gofffs, or thief

sweets from the shop, well Rolley did but

we’ll let him off

Got mates that put graft in

did what they had to and now they’re laughing

got gaffs with flash BBQ’s in the garden,

grand design-types that don’t ignite, it’s all

magnets or something, no jargon

couple of ton, mate, bargain

still clearing my path

pulling up nettles and cutting grass

removing glass,

Trying to lay roots and

cultivate plants

could sit on my arse

sink lager and laugh

did plenty of that, mate but

that’s not the only half

away from that I took time to develop a craft

some didn’t get what I was doing

sat in my room perusing, same beat on repeat

going through paper like a shredder machine

reams and remans, lines and paragraphs

a lot of it rubbish but every now and again

I’d hit on something that shook my heart

electro-shock this car into a jump-start and

it felt good, like life could, a little lift

in between the routine of work,

eat, sleep that sees light

pollutes stars

‘cos when the days are dark

you’ve over-cooked the overdraft

frozen the credit card

just air in the fridge and

the only thing eating is the job

feeding on your charms and it

when it pays the ends don’t meet so

the meters lacking charge

and finding that extra gear to leave

is a leap to a bridge to far

when that’s all you’ve got

thus far, mate

it’s hard